The Holly Fawder is a bit confused. Iranian media report that marriage is now a job requirement for all employees at Pars Special Economic Energy Zone Company, one of Iran’s state-owned companies. Employees who are single have been directed to get married by September 21 — or get fired.

I took to wearing this cloth to avoid the hazards of marriage and then some deadbeat country changes the rules.  It's easy to see why they make it mandatory to get married.  I mean, look at them capes.  Imagine me standing on my corner wearing one of them things.  I'd go broke!


 
 

The Holly Fawder, a rabbi and the Pastuh were all in a boat out in the middle of a lake.  The Pastuh says,  "I am thirsty.  I will go to shore and get something to drink."  So he gets out of the boat walks across the water to shore, gets a soda, walks back across the water, and gets back in the boat.

The Holly Fawder says,  "I am thirsty also.  I will go to shore and get something to drink." So he gets out of the boat walks across the water to shore, gets a soda, walks back across the water, and gets back in the boat.

The rabbi thinks to himself "pretty cool.  I will try it."  So he says,  "I am thirsty also.  I will go to shore and get something to drink." He gets out of the boat and falls in the water and drowns.

Then the Holly Fawder said to the Pastuh,  "Do you think we should have told him where the rocks were?"

 
 

I had been on the corner for some time and my bladder was about to burst.  I thought that would be cool because the 'heeling tint' was still in town and I knew where I could go get fixed up.  But, instead I went to the local sinagog and spotted a 'Clean Restroom' sign.

Now you know what that means.  It's like when someone says, 'Trust me' or 'To the tell the truth' translated means watch your wallet.  Anyway, I went in this 'Clean Restroom'.  It met my expectations.  What a mess. I took care of business quick and got out of there.

I respectfully took my assigned seat in the pew upfront.  I think it important for others to see me.  They might want a blessing or something.  What I couldn't figure was why everyone was laughing as I walked down the isle.  Then I spotted the tissue paper trailing behind me from my saintly sandal. 

How embarrassing.  It totally blew my persona, but certainly confirmed my idea of what a ''Clean Restroom" sign really meant.  It means just what it says.  The proprietor wants YOU to CLEAN the RESTROOM!

 
 

I told you the healing tent was in town.  The pitch man said the good book says, 'By His Stripes Ye are Healed'.  I'm inclined to believe the good book, but I got to think about the concept of Stripes Healing.  I'm all for healing, but what's a stripe?

Miquel once said....
When I was 6 my family was stationed in Juneau, Alaska (army) and my eardrum ruptured. There was no military medical services to treat it so I needed to be flown to Anchorage for the Air Force hospital there to do surgery. I was terrified at that time in my life both flying and of anything like surgery/medical practice. We got to the hospital and I was all prepped for a 6am surgery the following day. My Mom said I should pray for God to help it “go easy.” I was scared, I chose to pray “God save me from this! I’m scared.” The next day they were doing one last body check before wheeling me into the OR. The doctor stopped and looked puzzled. He looked at me and went, “It makes no sense, but the giant hole in your eardrum has suddenly closed about 60% overnight. It shouldn’t be able to do that…certainly not that quickly. Let’s cancel the surgery and see what another 24 hours does.” 3 days later I was not only healed, but flown back home and never had ear problems since.

In 1999 I totalled a car. Broke the frame, collapsed the dashboard, pushed the engine block through the radio, took 1.5 hrs to saw me out of the car kind of bad wreck. I’m claustrophobic. When I woke up and saw my situation I cried out, “God, I’m scared. Save me from this…let me not panic…this is bad.” Instantly the peace of God descended upon me. All of those verses I had memorized for years as a youth rushed to my mind and I went from a state of fear/panix to one of praise - to the point I felt it was a spiritual retreat of sorts. The paramedics were confused at how I could be so injured, so in pain, and yet so at peace. They were sure it was shock, but I had full faculties and awareness of all of my injuries - I was just removed from them in a way.

I had a crippling case of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis from age 4 combined with severe asthma. They completely altered my childhood experience - as sports and activity could put me in bedrest or the hospital. When I was called to ministry in high school I remember saying, “God, I know if you want me to go somewhere that doctors say I shouldn’t - you’ll take care of it.” Eventually I began saying, “God, i’m going to press my body and seek Your joy…please give me the strength necessary.” 3 years later my lungs were healthier than a non-asthmatic and my blood tests showed no evidence I had even had arthritis.

Does God heal? Oh yeah. To what purpose, though?

I believe it’s to His glory. And I give Him ALL the glory!

Best wishes for your quest on this subject.

Miguel de Alaska

 
#51 Healing Tent 06/03/2008
 

I gotta tell you.  I am a bit anxious.  Now I know the good book says to not be anxious for nothing.  I try hard to follow the rules, but this one is right tough for now.  That's because the healing tent is coming to town. 

Now I've had a boil on my bum for some time.  I'm thinking it is time to rid myself of this extra painful baggage and the healing tent is the place.  The anxious feeling comes from the possibility that the pitchman for the healer might ask me to show everyone my infirmity.  I'm not sure I'm up to the pressure of disclosure but if I fail to do as I'm told, then what?

Wouldn't you risk your friends seeing your bum if you could get a good healing happening? I just wonder....

 
#50 The Head Nod 06/01/2008
 

Having survived the satan possessed buzzard attack (refer to #49), I was ready for some church action.  I thought it was just like God to use a sparrow to take out a buzzard.  God is an incredible God of humor.

Anyway, I found myself sitting in a pew (refer to #3). I was strategically wearing my shades.  I try to be sensitive to the preach.   I know he gets disturbed when he sees my eyes closed at the wrong times.  That's why I like a preach that reads his prayers.  They are always long and melodious.  The repetitious chant just kinda rocks me to sleep.  But that brings me to the real issue.  The 'head nod'....

I am thankful for my cape and collar.  They are so multipurpose.  I just tighten up my collar and it keeps my head upright and prevents 'head nod',  This works great during the aftermath of long prayers.  Sometimes, I don't quite come back from a chant like maybe some others do and the collar keeps my head up.  Pretty cool with shades.  Nobody knows any different.  I just doze with a smile on my face and everyone is happy.

I can't tell you how important preventing head nod is.  Just the other day, I was watching one of our competitors on TV and the 'head nod' was worked for the good of those there.  Whenever the camera would pan in on some pour soul up close, they would give the camera a 'head nod'.  Now that is taking lemon and turning it into lemonade!  The 'head nod' is ok.  You just have to pick the right time and place. 

So I guess it is true like the wise ol' man said, "All things work together for the good of those that love the Lord". 

 
 

Now I'm as peace loving and bird watching as the next guy, but have you ever seen a buzzard up close.  I mean really up close?

The other day, I hitched a ride with a guy going my way.  I've had to cut back on driving my low riding 4x4 because gasoline has gotten so expensive.  Anyway, the ride was reasonable or so I thought. 

Now in Texas, you know the state bird must be a buzzard.  Well, I have to tell you the state is now short one bird.  My ride was cruising outside the hood, when out of no where this suicidal buzzard was camped out in the middle of the road.  This bird must have been really depressed because he didn't budge as my ride bared down on him. 

I kept thinking.  Bird you gotta move and move quick.  We were really cruising and if the bird had kept his head down, he'd still be alive to tell the story.  But just about the time we got there, he flew up and right at our windshield.

I remember the last bug I hit, it was a mess and the sound was loud.  But if you have ever hit a buzzard, let me tell you the sound is deafening!  POW! I thought the Sparrow was going to have Buzzard in his lap.  It  really got me laughing about the Sparrow taking out a Buzzard.

The buzzard didn't have a chance.


 
#48 Run the Race 05/24/2008
 

I've been thinking about running the race.  In any race, there has to be a beginning and an end.  The beginning of the race is easy to define.  It is the place that you begin running.  But, what is the end?

Check out 37stories.wordpress.com for real life adventures in the faith.

 
 

Hang on a second while I put on my cape.....

Some people have hats.  Some people have shoes.  Some people have jewelry.  I have my cape.  It is who I am.

I know I'm pretty smart.  You can tell it from my many blogs.  You gotta be smurt to write that much stuff about seemingly mundane uninteresting topics.   So I feel pretty good about myself.

But, even though I really don't need anyone's help I got to thinking.  I have a big responsibility on my street corner giving out directions.  One time (not often), I didn't know the answer to a question and I got to thinking again. 

The question was: Who disciples a discipler?

 
 

I took a break from the corner and counted Sunday my day of rest.  I know some of you consider Sunday a work day if you wear the collar like me.  But, for me and my house we will rest on Sunday.  That's why I found myself in a building with the church in it today.

I was pretty excited to be there because I has stressed from the week's work.  The hospital was chasing me for the tab I rang up while in ICU and contributions had been down at the corner.  You can only imagine how excited I was to be handed a juice box and cracker when I walked in.

I didn't think much about the cracker and asked if they had peanut butter, but did like the juice box.  It was a nice touch.

The preach surprised me and I bet surprised himself when he realized he must have forgotten his cape.  But, I'm sure he was much more relaxed in blue jeans.  I think you get closer to God in blue jeans.  He's not so much on capes these days.  I've been thinking about going to jeans, but the take is so much better with the cape on the corner.  Go figure.

I heard the preach and was impressed with his stories of how God had made a point of showing Himself and His power.  You know when you get right down to it, what good are the great days on the corner if God's not there.

Now the juice was a good touch, but the best part was knowing if my heart was right I had an opportunity to share in what Jesus did for me and my flock so many years, ago.  The cracker didn't do much for my hunger pangs, but it did a lot for my remembering Christ in the upper room as He prepared for the ultimate sacrifice.

It all reminds me of the times of old when my brothers in the cloth would wait for their opportunity to enter the Holy of Holies.  Some came out with a smile at having encountered God and survived.  Others, didn't come out at all.  I wonder which brother I would have been today?

The rest of the story......