Have you ever wondered why cows are Vegans?

Analyze This! 08/09/2008

A good friend moved to Florida and left this picture with me.  It still hangs on my door.  It still needs to be analyzed.......

Fire Detector 08/03/2008

I listened as he went on to address the executioners: "Follow him through the city and kill. Feel sorry for no one. Show no compassion. Kill old men and women, young men and women, mothers and children. But don't lay a hand on anyone with the mark. Start at my Temple." Ezekiel

The Word says that in the "end times" losers will get a mark of the beast on their forehead.  Now, I don't know about you but likely that's not a good thing. 

I was wondering what the mark of Christ might look like on your forehead.  I figure it could be a bruise or callous made from falling on your face before God.  I think I'll start checking foreheads......

Wake Up! 07/22/2008
Two Blind Pilots 07/17/2008

Two blind pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough in to the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into t heir magazines, secure in the knowledge that the pl ane is in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says,"ya know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

Humor Me! 07/17/2008

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

Spumoni Jesus 07/11/2008

‘Spumoni Jesus' found in Avenues ice cream shop July 10th, 2008 @ 4:40pm By Andrew Adams Some are calling what showed up in an Avenues candy and ice cream shop a miracle.

Holy spumoni! "I tell you, it looks like Jesus to me," said Scott Toxsic.

Sure enough, the image is right in the middle of a bucket of ice cream at Hatch Family Chocolates.

Toxsic says why not? His image has shown up other places. "Potato chips, and brickwork, and all kinds of things," he said. "But whoever thought ice cream? It's amazing!"

He calls it a miracle. More like a dilemma of whether to eat "Spumoni Jesus," says co-owner Steve Hatch.

There are still the skeptics, like Chase Pinkham. "It just kind of looked like ice cream to me. I don't know," he said.

The Hatches haven't decided what to name their new flavor -- perhaps "sacri-licious?"

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